4/24/13

the battle of the binky.

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That's right, we are having a battle in our house and it's with Jessica and her love for the binky. This is new to me. The boys never took a pacifier, and Jessica, well she is absolutely in love with it. If it were up to her, she would have it in her mouth all the time. While we try to only let her have it during naps and bedtime, she finds her little stashes around the house and happily plops them in her mouth.

Last week I happened to notice, or at least notice in my own paranoid mind, that there is gap between her top and bottom teeth. I am convinced it's the binky's fault. I know it. Well, actually it's my fault because I've allowed her to have the binky, but let's just go with it's the binky's fault.

That was it for me. It's time to say bye bye binky. We talked about the "binky fairy," yet each night when it came time to give it up there was a battle. There were tears, begging and pleas. And then I had to listen to the boys ramble on how they lost out on the binky fairy, they couldn't believe they didn't know there was one (oh boy, what have I started).

I stopped talking about the fairy and decided to start with baby steps. Our new rule: binky stays in bed, you can only use it for naps and bedtime.

So far, we are on day two and I am so proud of Jess. When I tell her to take it out she happily spits it across the room and laughs. Sure, it's turned into a little game, but if it works then I'm okay with that. The plan is to go about two weeks with this rule and then move to phase two, bye bye binky.

Ultimately, my goal is to be over the pacifier by the time we go on vacation this summer. I have to admit, it drives me crazy. I don't often use the word hate, but I hate, loathe the binky. I want to pluck it from her mouth and throw it away. I want to tell her she doesn't need it. She's a big girl, and big girls don't use binkys.

But maybe, just maybe, she does need it. Maybe she needs that comfort. Am I willing to pluck that from my little girl and toss it to the wind? Or am I willing to set aside my annoyance for that little piece of plastic and turn my head on this issue. Am I willing to gather my patience and wait until she is ready. Or at least more ready.

The battle of the binky is a tough fight. I wish I knew the answers. I wish I knew the key to winning. I tend to be an all or nothing kinda person. A quit cold turkey, if you will. Rip off the bandaid fast and it won't hurt. I don't think this battle will be that easy or fast.

Do you know the key to winning? Suggestions? Answers? Anything?

17 comments:

  1. owsley really liked his 'ninny.' one day i told him they were just for naps/bedtime, and we put them in a special cup for him and let him pick out the one he wanted. it took a day or two of tears when he would ask for his ninny, but it wasn't as bad as i thought. and then one day i went and bought the biggest size i could find at the store, and replaced the old ones with the new larger ones. he hated them both. he couldn't figure out what was wrong with them, but it just didn't feel right. and he decided he didn't want them anymore.

    good luck!

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    1. He Deanna!
      Thanks for stopping by and sending me some advice. I just put a special cup on her nightstand and so far we are on day three of only bedtime/naps. Surprisingly, it's been going ok. Hopefully the final stage of the transition is just as smooth :)
      xo

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  2. It's a tough one. My oldest had a dummy (pacifier) but my youngest just didn't take to it which I was so glad about especially since my oldest had to have braces whether it was the dummy or not I'm not sure. Anyway I was like you and just allowed her to have her dummy only when it was sleep time, she was ok with that. I think as it was coming nearer to her second birthday I would talk to her about how she was getting bigger and it was time to give the dummy up when she had her birthday. I can't remember now for how long we talked about giving up the dummy but once she got to two they all went into the bin and that was the end. I think your idea to slowly go step by step is a really good one especially if it is something she really likes. I hope things all go smoothly. :)

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    1. Thanks Catherine!
      You bring up a really good point - the importance of talking about it with her.
      Thanks for the reminder :)

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  3. oh dear! This is rough. I sucked my thumb until I was 7..the more my Mom pushed the more I craved it. maybe some end of the day/bed transition time? where you can trade her binky for story time and cuddles? best of luck Liz!! by the way.. i stopped because my thumb just got too big for my mouth and it was uncomfortable :/

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    1. i was a thumb sucker too! and i used to rub my nose. the crazy things we do for comfort :)
      so, i had thought about that. she's already in a big bed! and the girl gets more books and cuddles than you could imagine. haha. each of my kids do, no wonder i can't figure out how to get anything done!

      thanks margo
      xoxo

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  4. We've never had to deal with binkies. My son didn't take one (or the thumb). My daughter, on the other hand, loves to suck her thumb. So, I guess you can consider yourself lucky that you can take the binky away.

    As with any transition, I'm always petrified of scaring my kids. My husband has a different approach. He says short-term pain for long-term pain. And, I have to admit, it's always been the case. For example, my son was a great manipulator when it came to bedtime. My husband finally had enough and cut the bedtime routine down to about five minutes by shutting the door. My son would cry for about five minutes and typically figure out that we weren't buying it. After about three days, the bedtime routine was much easier. There were bumps after that, but we held our ground.

    I do know plenty of people who got rid of all but one binky. Then, when that one disappeared, no more binkies. Good luck! And if you have any advice about thumb sucking, I'm all ears!

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    1. Wow, sounds like I need to take your advice on bedtime too! Five minutes? It takes me over an hour, haha.

      I like the idea of getting rid of all of them but one, and then when it's gone, it's gone. As for the thumb, unfortunately I have no advice. A friend of mine has a daughter who sucked her two middle fingers. They used that nail polish that tastes awful and it worked! You never know.

      Thanks for the advice ;)

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  5. I can completely understand this. Logan had his for a very, very long time. So long that even strangers would come up to me and say, "isn't he a little old to have that still?". When you aren't the person fighting with the child day in and day out about it, that's very easy to say. I wish I had a good answer for you but I think every child is different. We actually went on summer vacation one year when he was three, almost four and honestly lost it in somewhere during travel. I just told Logan it was gone, there weren't anymore and that was that. It was the strangest yet best thing! Go figure. Good luck with Jess! I hope she lets go of it soon. I know the struggle mama. You are not alone!

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    1. Thanks Nicole! And thanks for the support. It's always nice to know that us mothers have our struggles yet we are not alone. Hopefully it will become "lost" one day soon ;) Also, doesn't it bug you when strangers voice their opinion??

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  6. my daughter had hers till she was just over 4 'gasps' we just refused to replace them and they got so disgusting she put them in the bin and I got her a barbie car.
    I am so thankful our new baby hated them and refused to take one

    Good luck!!

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    1. i know, my boys never used one so this is so new to us. we're definitely doing something to replace the binky. a new toy or doll is in the talking :)
      thanks for the helpful info!
      xo

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  7. I don't have kids, but I remember reading somewhere about cutting the kid's pacifier (like cutting the nipple part off) so that it wasn't as comfortable for them to have in their mouths. Good luck, I bet it's hard to try to reason with an inherently emotional being!

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    1. Funny you say this. One of her pacifier's broke, and I thought oh good this may work. I told her I had to throw it away and she freaked out!!

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  8. I know someone who just went through this with her daughter. My little one will be one next week... and still loves her binky, but I'm fine with letting her have it for at least another year...

    Anyway, she was having a hard time getting her daughter to let go. So she came up with a brilliant idea. Do you have a mall near you with one of those "build a bear" stores? Well, she made a day of it with her daughter. She picked out a bear, an outfit, and her mom brought along her favorite binky. Then she put the binky into the bear and it was stuffed and sewed tight. That way, she could always have her binky close to her. Such a cute idea, right? She said it was two nights of crying and whining and then she was over it.

    I'm using that idea for my little one when the time comes! Good luck!

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    1. Yes!! I've heard of this before!! I think it's a great idea. We've never done Build a Bear and it may be worth it for this special time.
      Thank you!!

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  9. I still have my binky.

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