June 20th, 2007 was one of the most magical days of my life.
I remember waking up on and off throughout the night, thinking....could this be it...could it be time. But I was able to fall back asleep and I wasn't in pain so naturally I thought it was a false alarm. Around 7:00am I woke up with intense cramps, but somehow I still felt great. I showered, got ready for the day and made coffee. Finally, I woke Jon and told him it may or may not be time.
I was calm. I was excited. I was nervous.
I decided to call the doctor around 7:40am, but they assured me if I wasn't in pain then it probably wasn't labor. I could go to the hospital or I could wait till they opened at 8:30. I decided to wait. At 8:00 I couldn't wait any longer. The contractions were intense and very close together; two to three minutes apart. We literally jumped in the car and RACED to the hospital. Everything was happening so fast it felt surreal. I couldn't even check myself in because the contractions were so intense. I had to walk around the lobby and take deep breaths while Jon filled out paperwork. Finally, we were checked in and up on the maternity floor. At this point I was dilated to 7. I did receive an epidural, but while the anesthesiologist was still in the room I was checked again. I was dilated to 10. Literally, in a matter of minutes everything that I had been waiting for happened, and it happened so fast I didn’t know how to take the emotions. The epidural hadn't taken affect, my parents weren't there and suddenly I heard voices saying "push."
Two pushes and Joshua entered the world at 9:01 in the morning.
As tears fell from my eyes I smiled. I suddenly realized all these emotions I had been feeling where love. Love for this newborn child.
Joshua, you are the light of my life.
You are my laughter and joy.
I have never met another child who can put a smile on anyone's face at any time. Your personality defines who you are and you are amazing. With all my heart I know that you will grasp life and cherish it. I know that you will follow your dreams. And I know that your dreams are infinite. You will get there, you will get anywhere you want and I will be there with you every step of the way.
Three weeks old.
Four weeks old on Jonas' Birthday.
On the boat.
Silliest boy ever. Goggles and cookie face.
A birthday boy in a tub.
I'm also over at Mama Loves Papa today for a guest post. Make sure to stop by and say hello :)