17 July 2012

positive parenting.

Yesterday we began a new adventure in the young years of boyhood. Jonas is officially a Cub Scout and is spending this week at a "Twilight Camp" for the younglings. Each night we attend for four hours and arrive home a little past bedtime, a special treat for the boys. I would have to say that this is the first time I have been surrounded by so many parents and their children. In a situation like this I can't help but listen and observe. Listen to the other children, to their parents, to the boys helping, to the leaders offering direction. It's not often that I talk about parenting, because really who am I to offer any advice, but last night made a mark on my mind. For a moment I stopped and thought on how important it is that I chose the path of positive parenting. I will not talk down to my child, they are my equal. I will strive to have patience, because when I do not my children can see it in my eyes. I will choose my words wisely. The vocabulary that I use inevitably becomes my children's. Positive language can carry a child steps further down their path. In our home, words like "hate" and "stupid" are considered bad words and you most likely will not hear them coming from my mouth. There are moments when I am appalled at how parent's speak to their children. Do they not realize that they are little sponges? That they will absorb any behavior, be it positive or negative? Isn't that common sense?

In order to maximize on positive parenting I also believe that you must become a leader, you must walk away from your shell and become that strong parent your child needs (this is beginning to sound like a term paper). They can sense a wishy washy attitude and will run with it to the wind. They will walk all over you and shut those listening ears off. Being a firm parent who follows through on discipline is NOT being a bad parent. Children need limits, they need your direction and they yearn for routine. They are looking for you to be a confident person who can guide them in the right direction. Be consistent. But most of all, be consistent with your love. When I speak to my little ones I want them to know that I love them, I listen to them and I will always be there for them.

Share below in the comments if you have any thoughts on positive parenting. I would love to hear them! As I sit here and type we are getting ready to go to the library, then home to pack lunches for a picnic in the park, swimming at a friend's house, home for Jess' nap and some book time, then making dinners and off to camp. Joshua comes with us and attends the tot care program which has games and crafts and Jess hangs out with my parents (thank you SO much mom and dad). My two sitters are on vacation this week so I've been struggling a bit to make arrangements. I'm also preparing for Jonas' birthday party on Thursday, his actual birthday on Friday, an art show on Sunday and dinner with the family for Jonas on Monday. It's a busy busy week around here my friends.


  1. I would love to hear more on positive parenting. I always try to stop and listen to Judah (although he doesn't make real words just just yet) and try to affirm his needs and not put him down.

  2. soooo true - they do sponge up our attitudes/behaviours.. which can be frightening in those moments of our own weakness! ;o) A few points I learned in this theme:
    Yes, affirm the positive behaviour you want to see: "be patient, be gentle, DO this..." vs. the reactive negative attention of: "stop whining, don't hit, NO, don't DO that.." Easy to fall into the negative on days like today when my gal is pushing ALL the buttons!!
    I also like the notion of looking for the virtue instead of the vice = a stubborn willed child (vice?)... encourage that trait to mean they aren't pushovers in life, know what to stand for (virtue)...
    blah blah blah - you got me started now Liz!!
    xoxo you're a lovely mama
    needle and nest

  3. I feel the same way and strive for it! I'm always observing other parents, too!


  4. I love this. Our little guy is only 2 month old but already we talk and have talked about what we want him to be and how we want to be for him. I do have nieces and nephews that also know 'hate' as a bad word (unfortunately, I slipped up in Walmart the other day and my nephew corrected me...but come on...it's Walmarttttt;).
    Setting a good example...being consistent...following through. Huge things and things we continue to work on.
    All I want for our little ones is for them to be kind (and funny and smart and compassionate and reasonable and loving...:)


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